Wheaton Aston 10k

Another run this morning at Wheaton Aston, which is somewhere beyond Cannock and on the way towards Shropshire. It is organised by the Newport Running Club, whose website has been down for a month and therefore there is no race info. So I’m sure we’re not the only ones wondering if it’s still on. An email sent to all online entrants would have been nice, as is the usual form. This doesn’t bode well for the on the day organisation, if it's on of course.

Via Runners’ World's Forum we find out some details, that they have apparently contracted a virus on their website and that the race is actually full but at least we’re in. So we’ve not got to drive for over an hour to find a locked HQ and a cancelled race.

We do find a lack of toilet facilities, no portaloos tut tut but a butty van with a short queue although regrettably I'm not supporting today. In fact we haven’t even got the dogs with us.

The race is all a bit old skool, which is quaint in a way, a back to basics 10k, hand timing, a small ‘start’ sign at the side of the road that everyone misses and a chap sat on a farm gate giving the briefing. I didn’t mention the mile markers did I? For a 10k, my pet hate.



The course turns out to be generally flat with just a few gentle inclines, mainly through rural farmland. When two women running near me announce in the first mile that we are all being beaten by a 60 year old lady, who is just up ahead, it causes a surge in the field that nearly tramples the poor lady to death. Such boisterous antics subside as the race goes on and I get through it, albeit slowly, with another 44 minute plus time. L chips a couple of minutes off her Bolsover time to show she’s getting to normal after her bout of whatever she had.



At the end we are all handed a very nice technical shirt, which is unfortunately predominately yellow but you can’t have everything.

L Time: 01:02:09

Races: 46
Miles: 330.8
T-shirts: 25
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 15
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 2
Christmas Puddings: 1
Antlers: 1

Furnace 5k

This morning the usual 5k run on Darley Park. I usually do this with the elder of our two dogs but had intended to do it with the younger one this year in my attempt to reclaim our title of first dog across the line. We were unfairly beaten last year by a Smurf and his husky. When I say unfairly, I mean they were faster than us, which is very unfair.

As it turns out I run with both, as L isn’t keen to ruin her run by being attached to a dog, which is understandable. This has actually been my plan for the last two years but in both years its been too icy to have so much dog power at my fingertips. This year that’s not an issue as the weather is practically tropical.

My concerns about too much dog power appear justified when at the start the elder dog’s wheels are spinning, his paws digging a channel in the soft earth, as I try to prevent us false starting. Meanwhile the other one is spinning in circles trying to escape his lead. Total chaos. Which only gets worse when some idiot yells ‘go’ and the rest of the 150 or so runners head off onto the course. I try to hold the boys back for as long as I can. Impossible. So we rocket after the main field, achieving 0 to 60 in about two seconds.

Once we’re up to speed and heading in something approaching a straight line, things calm down a touch. The elder dog takes control and leads us for the first 2k, then when he tires our younger model seamlessly takes over.

My father is waiting on the bridge, I don’t see him but the dogs do and the elder one slams his anchors on. It’s difficult to get him moving again after that, particularly as the course now takes us on a loop away from the finish but we get round. Then when we turn for home he's interested again and we power across the line. We come in a credible 51st but more importantly we are first dog or dogs home.

L Time: 00:28:38

Races: 45
Miles: 324.5
T-shirts: 24
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 15
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 2
Christmas Puddings: 1
Antlers: 1

Bolsover 10k

Another run this morning but just for L. The boys and I are all just supporting today. We head to Bolsover, where we park in the town centre and before walking to the newly rebuilt Bolsover School on Mooracre Lane, where the race starts. There are a few patches of ice on the ground, which I’m sure won’t cause any problems but it’s another reason I’m glad I’m not running.

The start is delayed by about ten minutes; the rumour is this is because of the length of the toilet queue. You would have thought the toilet provision, as this is a race with a long history, is something they would have got right. Also having to filter everyone one through the start only then to start in the other direction was not the brightest thing to do but not my problem, as I’m not running.

Apparently the race always used to start at the school before being moved down the road to Bolsover Castle in 2009, causing the distance to go up to 11k. So they added a 1k walk to the start last year to get it back down to 10k but then oddly ended up not finishing in the castle at all but in the field beside it. This year we’re back at the school.

There’s a bacon butty van for us supporters but unfortunately it’s inside the school grounds, where the dogs aren’t allowed. So instead we stare longingly at it through the railings but not so longingly at the queue. Seems not only do they need more portaloos, they need more butty vans as well.

So instead we walk out across the fields to the 9k point, nearly get run over on the busy road and then walk back. ‘What was the point of that?’ Doggo’s knotted ears enquire. Just a walk, you know, dogs like them, apparently.

When we return to the school, half an hour after the race start, just ahead of the winner, I’m sure the same people are still in the butty van queue. The race winner, Richard Weir of Derby AC, crosses the line in a highly impressive time of 30:43 and a new course record. So he’s £100 better off.

L, still coughing, knocks a few minutes off her Langdale time but is still clearly not back to full speed yet, plus there was those 2-for-1 beers last night... That said, it worked ok for me yesterday. She collects her race t-shirt, an astonishingly florescent affair, ideal for those dark evening winter runs or for directing traffic in. Although they did run out of her size. So organisers... loos, butties and t-shirts. The rest was great.

L Time: 01:04:18

Races: 44
Miles: 321.4
T-shirts: 24
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 15
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 2
Christmas Puddings: 1
Antlers: 1

Santa Paws

This morning a trip to West Bromwich for the Santa Paws 5k. Partly to chalk another three miles off L’s target but also to support the folk at K9Running who are trying to get their running with dogs events off the ground. Although they don't seem to be trying very hard. Little publicity and even their website doesn’t appear in a search engine. Rather worryingly the pre-race instructions were emailed to only three addresses and two of them were L and me. So I expect nothing less than a top 3 finish from both of us. We have standards to keep up.

It’s a good job we decide to go, when we arrive at Sandwell Park Farm this morning we double the race numbers. Yes, there are only four of us. A fifth person decided it was too wet and miserable this morning and has clearly found something better to do.

I hang back at the start, well try to. Not easy when you’re attached to a dog. The early leader doesn’t look particularly fast and certainly the dog assisted pace he is currently setting looks unsustainable for both man and beast. Hurtling out of control along the footpath, he comes across an icy path and down he goes. Oh dear. I stop to help him up like the good citizen/competitor that I am. Then we overtake him.

For once, when in front, MD doesn’t look back and we build a reasonable lead before backing off and taking it steady around the rest of it, feeling sure we have at least a minutes lead on him. What we didn’t expect was to come in and then wait around ten minutes for everyone else. As the minutes clock by, I look at my watch, thinking L should be in any time soon and second place is still up for grabs. Then the chap and L with Doggo come in more or less together. The chap beats them, just, so L and Doggo come in third or first lady if you prefer (sorry mate). The goodie bag includes antlers for the boys or are they for us, I’m not sure.

So I win and L wins. Can’t get better than that can you? A small field, yes, but you can only beat the opposition that is put in front of you. So a successful day really and as L points out my second win and again after a heavy night out on the ale. Which kind of rips the rules of perceived wisdom up.

In the afternoon they are holding a Fun Dog Show, you know ugliest bitch and all that, plus a variety of junior and ‘Have-a-Go’ 2.5K races, all presumably in the rain. Good luck guys, I fear you’ll need it, we’re off home.

L Time: 00:35:23

Races: 43
Miles: 315.2
T-shirts: 23
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 15
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 2
Christmas Puddings: 1
Antlers: 1

Great Langdale Christmas Pudding 10k

The Great Langdale Christmas Pudding 10k is the self styled ‘people’s choice 10K winter run’, hmm maybe. L’s only here for the mileage, I’m only here for the beer but it has become a bit of a tradition.

There are as usual two races over two days with the Saturday proving more popular than the Sunday. Race organisers who run practically everything on a Sunday take note. Just under 300 today but nearly 430 yesterday.

They encourage entrants to dress in festive costumes and as I recall I got defeated by a green elf last time, although I was just coming back from injury. That’s my excuse. There’s no repeat today, as far as I know. There are plenty of Santas and even the odd pudding but I think they’re all behind me.

L looks very fetchingly festive in her red top, Santa hat and Christmassy ear rings. Something is missing though. Those little red skirts with the fur trim have a certain something... Perhaps I’ll get her one for Bolsover next week.

The course is the usual out and back along the valley road starting and finishing at the Sticklebarn pub. It’s not the greatest of runs for me, terrible actually. I was supposed to be taking it steady but not that steady. My time of over 44 minutes is two minutes slower than on this course in April but depressingly also slightly slower than two years ago when I was injured and ‘allowed’ to take to easy. I’m a massive four minutes off what I did in 2008, when I was a youngster obviously but we won’t talk about that. Good job half marathons are where it’s now at. I hope.

Every finisher gets a Christmas pudding, this year from Mathew Walker which is a big step up from the usual Asda/Tesco ones. It’s still a bit odd though, us coming up to Cumbria to collect a pudding made in Derbyshire, near from whence we came. I’m sure they could source some Cumbrian ones if they really wanted to.

L is slower too but at least she’s got the excuse of coughing and spluttering her way around.

L Time: 01:06:06

Races: 42
Miles: 312.1
T-shirts: 23
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 1
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1
Christmas Puddings: 1

Nene Valley 10

L is panicking that she might struggle to clock up her 500 miles. There’s no chance of that, I’ve already ordered the commemorative t-shirts. It does mean though that we’ve got a pretty tough schedule between now and May, including a trip to Peterborough today. We go to all the best places, oh yes.

Today’s race is the Nene Valley 10 Miler, which sounds nice but, having been lured down to the area recently for the not-by-the-riverside Riverside Half, probably isn’t and there’s no t-shirt.

I’m here because anything has got be better than the Edwinstowe Christmas 10k again, off road and all for another red t-shirt with Christmas trees on it. It’s such a minefield picking a race at this time of year, they nearly all have ‘Reindeer’ or ‘Santa’ in the title and can often involve fancy dress. All to be avoided, I think.

So here we are trying to find the Rugby Club somewhere round the back of Sainsbury’s, before queuing for the temporary toilets and then finally milling about on the road outside Aldi looking for the start line. I tell you, Mo Farrah doesn’t know he’s born. It’s back there we’re told. Back up, back up, back up... then suddenly, with no evidence of a starting gun, horn, whistle or even a cry of ‘ready, steady, go’ we’re off, I think. I never did find out where the start line was.

It’s a bit of a dull one, around the local housing estates with a short stretch through a wood, which is presumably where the local muggings take place after dark.

The first few miles are livened up with a game of dodge the post. How it works is the chap in front of you suddenly yells ‘POST’ at the top of his voice and dodges violently to one side, causing you to hurdle the two foot high metal post that you are now hurtling towards. You then yell ‘POST’ yourself or sometimes perhaps ‘****ING POST’ as you pass the problem elegantly on to the next man. Great fun.

A few miles in, with everyone now more spread out, a broken leg starts to become less of a concern and I begin to concentrate on the race itself. Well, on the ponytail in front of me, which had the nerve to overtake but that I now have no intention of letting get away from me.

The course has PB potential, there's a few twisty bits but it's pretty flat apart from the underpass, oh and the bridge. It’s also devoid of all scenery but just in case you did miss something you get chance to do it all again with a second lap. The view though is no better second time around but by then I was focusing purely on getting a PB rather than debating the architectural merits of modern housing estates with the people around me.

Talking of which, I was just thinking what hairy legs the owner of the ponytail in front of me had when I realised that, although I was still following a white and blue running vest, it’s owner has suddenly turned into an grey haired chap. How did that happen? I really have not been concentrating enough. Still, it makes no odds; I can’t let him beat me either.

There’s a thimbleful of water on offer at halfway but in plastic cups, so I have to ease up to drink it. Then having been revived, a little, I go past the grey haired chap and tag on to the back of four other guys who I reckon are going at about the right pace to pull me round to the finish but they part, let me through and then fall behind me. That wasn’t supposed to happen either. This is going far too well, after doing all three of my previous ten milers in 1:13 perhaps I could possibly get a 1:12 this time?

I continue to pass people all the way around the second lap. That is until last 20 yards. Where did they all come from?

1:12:56 I reckon or maybe 1:12:57... Job done and a negative split, not done many of them. The official results say 1:12:59... They’re having me on but it still counts as sub 1:13, just. So I must have got my training (ha ha) and my pre-race routine (thanks L) right.

The goodie bag turns out to be just that, a bag, an empty one or you could have a drinks bottle. So I go for that, you can never have too many drinks bottles... or bags for that matter.

L Time: 01:37:56

Races: 41
Miles: 305.9
T-shirts: 23
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 1
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

St Neots Riverside Half Marathon

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be stood on the sidelines, a bacon roll in one hand and a coffee in the other, watching everyone else run the St Neots Riverside Half Marathon. I have however discovered I have much less self control that I thought which has caused me to buy a race number off someone who has wimped out of competing today, I mean was unable to attend.

So we drive an hour and a half down the A1 to discover that, to my untrained eye at least, the race isn’t actually in St Neots and isn’t down the riverside. We appear to actually be in Eynesbury which is next door to St Neots, so perhaps close enough. The river though is not in evidence anywhere. No matter it’s supposed to be a scenic run anyway, river or not. Well it may have been a scenic route but it’s difficult to tell as everything is under a very heavy mist for most of the day. Still I’m sure it was very nice.

It’s also quiet cold. We leave Nottingham at a barmy 6 degrees but as we head south the temperature actually dips into the negative on occasion. Neither of us has brought any cold weather kit with us, long sleeves etc. I haven’t even got my running gloves and make do with a fleece pair I had in the car.

The 1200 places sold out long ago but despite operating a transfer window system for those who bottled it; there are still only 950 on the start line. What is it with competitors? Nice warm bed too big a pull was it? Hmmm.

Even with 950 it’s still a bit congested in the first few miles on the narrow roads around here and I tread on a few toes. We also cause chaos with the local traffic and annoy dozens of car drivers. I’m not sure how they got away with that but I’m all for a bit of traffic annoyance.

The reason for the congestion is maybe because I’m directly behind the 1:45 pacers, along with about 200 other people. What we need is a nice big hill to drop say 190 of them off the back but aside from one cheeky short incline through one of the villages it’s a relatively flat course. I could actually quite fancy a gentle 1:45 today and being wedged in with them at least stops me setting off at a suicidal pace. This pace though, 7:25 for mile one and 7:37 for mile two, isn’t exactly 1:45 pace, they should be doing 8:00s.

Overall it’s a very well organised race and an honourable mention goes to the marshals, of whom there were many and all were very encouraging, if occasionally in a ‘I’m glad it’s not me running this’ sort of way. The drinks stations (four of them) all had bottled water, which is much better than cups and they even had jelly babies. Although I had to decline because I’m trying to give them up as I can’t breathe and chew at the same time. Plus the girl who was handing them out them had a bit of a dispense problem and most of them were ending up on the floor. She needs to work on that. The only thing missing for a perfect race was the training. My training that is e.g. the lack of it.

So loosely enjoyable and the flat (apparently slightly downhill) last three miles meant that even I had a fast-ish finish as I tried to keep ahead of those 1:45 pacers.

Race HQ was at the local leisure centre, yet the start was amongst a housing estate and the finish at a nearby school. It was actually quite a long way back to the HQ, well it is if you’re crawling there. It takes me so long to get there that my name is already up on the results when I arrive. The queues for the massages are already quite long and the masseurs don’t look that gentle either, or attractive, so I head back to the car to get the boys.

L finishes before I get back to the finish, ahead of schedule again. I wish she’d slow down; she’ll be overtaking me soon if she keeps this up. She’s just outside her season’s best which she did at Birmingham last month.

The T-shirts are long sleeve, of the technical variety and predominately red but they’re not too bad. They have a bit of a supply error though and L doesn’t get the small size she ordered, or even a medium for that matter.

L Time: 02:12:53

Races: 40
Miles: 295.9
T-shirts: 23
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Chocolate Bars: 5
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Dirty Double Part Two: 13.6km Ullswater Trail Race

Part two of the ‘Dirty Double’. Sadly it doesn’t say that on the race t-shirt of which we get another one today. Bright orange. Today it’s the Ullswater 13.6km trail race which requires an earlier start, which for L is 9.30am. This means we’re up at around 7am, finding that the weather has suddenly dropped cold and is below zero in places. It’s still quite sunny though.

The race also requires full body cover. Every competitor must carry a hat, gloves, a cagoule and overtrousers of some sort. This is partly for the boat journey... where it may be cold on board. L needs to be at Glenridding Pier to catch the first of three trips by the Ullswater steamer ‘Lady Of The Lake’ which will take us to the start at nearby Howtown. It’s a case of being shipped out, dropped off and told to run back. I’m on the third sailing at 11.30am. So after a one hour head start yesterday she gets two hours today.

The boys and I was goodbye to her before heading off for a sausage cob and a cuppa. Well we do have two hours to kill. Well two and a half actually because it quickly becomes apparent that the other boats are going to be running late.

We finally board at noon and the finishers from the first trip are already coming in. I keep a lookout for L but don’t see her. As we sail (or should that be steam), we go close enough to the bank to cheer the earlier starters along. Which is a nice touch but one which will be unavailable to us on the last boat. We also go close enough to see them all clambering up a big hill. Oh dear. That'll be us next.

The boat trip actually reminds me of the one to Alcatraz, only I think, I hope, we don't have to swim for it to make our escape. During the half hour journey we are serenaded by a singer/guitarist who among other songs sings us ‘Sailing’ with especially adapted words for this journey. Then both the guitarist and the race organiser announce that they are so inspired by their own race that they’re going to join us.

We arrive at Howtown, which turns out to be no town at all. Just a landing stage and a start line. Well, a tree masquerading as a start line.

GB Marathon runner Susan Partridge is already there waiting, having eschewed the boat and ran there instead. Our guitarist dons shorts and promptly overtakes me. As does the organiser, who having acted as official starter then joins in and overtakes practically everybody.

The course is hillier and rockier than yesterday, which means I walk a lot again but it’s still kind of enjoyable. We run around the lake with almost always one eye on the finish, the only problem being it's across the other side of the water. So no shortcuts then. In fact you can hear all the cheering at the finish from around 5k out.

It’s a bit disheartening too that when we near the end they send us uphill again just before the last decent. Which takes us past a cafe but it’s a bit late to stop for coffee and cake now. Just 2k to go as we head into Patterdale.

L is waiting at the line with the boys. Where I'm surprised to find I'm not last. 01:22:56, slower than yesterday but not bad for an anti-fell runner.

L Time: 02:03:42

Races: 39
Miles: 282.8
T-shirts: 22
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Dirty Double Part One: 15km Helvellyn Trail Race

Today is the first of our two races, known collectively as the ‘Dirty Double’. My little treat for my girl with mileage on her mind. She needs five hundred of them before May. First up it’s the 15km Helvellyn Trail race which starts and finishes at Jenkins Field in Glenridding.

They hand over the race t-shirt before we start and it’s a tasteful little black number. The Helvellyn Trail race doesn’t actually, thankfully, go up Helvellyn but the t-shirt is nicely ambiguous on this. So I can pretend it did. Although it’s still sure to be tough, Hell-vellyn the clue's in the name.

There are two races. L has chosen the less serious ‘Challenge’ race at 1pm, whilst I’m in the main ‘Trail’ race at 2pm. Both nicely late in the day starts. We hit a cafe for a bacon sarnie and a cuppa before we start. Continuing our involuntary quest to break every pre-race rule in the book.

At quite a few races that I do, they like to worry you by introducing the opposition. Today is no exception as they announce current GB Marathon runner Susan Partridge and former Olympic marathoner Jon Brown, who won the race the last time it was held in 2008. The organisers don’t elaborate on why it’s not been held since. I wonder how many runners they lost three years? Too late to google it now.

I start near the back because I know that most of the other runners will do the nasty rocky bits faster than me and will just want to push past. Then they throw in a few miles of Tarmac through Glenridding and up the first climb. Terrain I excel on and I overtake a lot of them. Then, as predicted, they thunder past me when it gets difficult.

It beats me how parts of the course passed a Health and Safety inspection and let's face it, they're not good at making paths up here. They just throw a few boulders in a random pattern and be done with it. There you go, walk on that or in our case run on that. Treacherous.

I’m not complaining really, I was expecting this. It is a ‘Fell Race’ after all. ‘Fell’ as in you’ll probably fall a lot and people do. The course keeps the medics busy. I twist my old war wound of a dodgy ankle and hobble through three quarters of it.

The course runs down two valleys. First the Glenridding Valley and as we turn at the end it is with a nod to the peaks of Catstye Cam and above it the great Helvellyn him/herself. Then we pop into the Grisedale valley, with Helvellyn now on our right as we head out towards the likes of Dollywagon Pike.

Finally we’re off the rocky bridleways and the mud, on to much more substantial hard packed gravel tracks and finally another section of my beloved tarmac at the end.

As I head back in to Glenridding it is odd to see L there cheering me on but it’s very welcome. Although I’m a little gutted I didn't catch her, as I did at Cartmel last year on our last Lakeland Trails expedition. When she did assist by taking a wrong turn.

1:17:56 is an adequate time and 151th out of 366 is a more than adequate position for a non-fell runner who steps around all the rocks rather than plummeting over the top of them like the experts do.

I tuck into the Kendal Mint Cake at the finish and wait for the spot prize draw, which neither of us have any luck with.

Well done Lakeland Trails. I consider their motto ‘Inspiring Races in Beautiful Places’ as I look at a woman at the finish holding a bloody hanky to her forehead and asking someone to text a photo of her before the bleeding stops... Nutters these fell runners but yep, I’m inspired. Where’s the next ROAD race? Ah, that’s after I’ve negotiated tomorrow.

L Time: 01:56:17

Races: 38
Miles: 274.4
T-shirts: 21
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Dip In The Dark

Tonight we're at Capernwray Dive Centre near Carnforth for the ‘Dip in the Dark’. The Dive Centre is in somewhere called Jackdaw Quarry that they’ve flooded and turned in to basically a diver’s amusement park. There are sunken ships to explore, as well as submerged helicopters, garden gnomes... Shergar... and Lord Lucan... So that’s where they ended up... or rather fibreglass versions nabbed from Blackpool Pleasure Beach. I can't imagine how freaky it would be coming nose to nose with Shergar in the dark or for that matter, even in the light.

Tonight the Dive Centre is hosting a 500m swim in the dark. The dogs are fascinated, well, freaked. I'm fascinated, well, freaked. L looks fascinated, well no, actually terrified and freaked.

At least as it's a circular pond and they’ve also illuminated the buoys that mark the edge of the course, she can't possibly get lost. I hope. Each swimmer has helpfully attached a glow stick to the back of their wetsuits, so that the organisers can find the bodies later.

It's all over in around 15 minutes for L or just under 7 if you're the smart arse who won. L gets out of the water predictably no longer terrified and simply elated. She'll be smug as hell tonight.

Races: 37
Miles: 265.0
T-shirts: 20
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Sheffield Ten-Ten-Ten

I take L up to Sheffield today for the erroneously named Sheffield Ten-Ten-Ten at Endcliffe Park.

Last year the race ran on the 10th October 2010, this year 30th October 2011. So Thirty-Ten-Eleven then. Still starts at 10am though and still 10k.

I’ve decided to give this one a miss. I need a break but also looking at the photos of last year’s race put me off. Is that grass they’re running on? It rather looks like it and muddy grass at that. It’s also two laps. On closer inspection it looks remarkably like two laps of Wollaton Park... and I've done that often enough.

I decide to help the boys with their supporting. When I see the bacon sarnie stall it looks even more like the right decision. I’m not at all jealous of L on this one, it looks a very slow course, but the t-shirts are nice.

L Time: 01:04:32

Races: 36
Miles: 264.7
T-shirts: 20
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Great Birmingham Half Marathon Run

The race literature welcomes us to the 'former Birmingham Half Marathon' which has been Bupa-ised and is now known as the ‘Great Birmingham Run’ but as this gives no indication to the race distance we won't call it that. It is after all still a half marathon and it’s still in Birmingham.

The blueprint is the same as the equally spuriously named 'Great Manchester Run' which I did earlier this year. That was a 10k by the way. Again they helpfully put your name on your number, just in case you forget who you are and I’m again in the first ‘Orange’ wave along with all the elite athletes and a banana, but more of him later. there are four waves and L starts in wave three (green).

Parking is great and practical at the NIA and of course cheaper than anywhere in Sheffield. Everything is so handy, that we take the dogs and my father.

There’s bound to be considerable focus on the organisation this year following the farce of last year’s 'race for climate change' where a pinch point in the first half a mile caused everyone to walk and the finish descended into a shambles as runners queued up to cross the line. Now though, we get the Great Run's well honed organisation skills and everything runs like clockwork.

We clap as the star runners are presented to the crowd and then a huge roar goes up as the final one is introduced. Ah, Mr Gebrselassie we meet again. No doubt feeling he has to prove a point and show that beating me in Manchester was no fluke. Bring it on.

Then we’re off, funnelled through a bottleneck before the start, so that’s there’s plenty of space when you actually cross the start line. I baulk at having to actually run across the line, preferring to save those twenty metres of energy for later.

The crowd is a little quiet as I set off, perhaps all cheered out after Gebrselassie, but the public around the course more than make up for it.

Due to the lack of congestion, I get a much better start than last year and have to hold myself back a bit as everyone goes off like Usain Bolt on the downhill start. I refuse to get drawn into such a suicidal pace and decide to let the likes of Gebrselassie burn themselves out before reeling them in later.

As we run along Pershore Road heading out to Bournville, it soon becomes obvious that this plan is already in tatters. Here the course doubles back on itself and as I approach four miles Gebrselassie is already heading back and passing the six mile point. Tactics wrong. Again. I give him a reluctant clap anyway.

The elite women go past not too far behind, apparently they were being paced around by a chap dressed as a banana. I dismiss this bizarre rumour; surely it would have been a giraffe. We saw how quick they are last week. I think some folk have obviously had too much blue Powerade.

Yes it’s Powerade and not Lucozade this year. This means attempting to avoid those ‘blues’. There seems something not right about any blue drink, let alone a blue sports drink. Although I still end up with one before eventually getting a red one at the second stop.

There’s plenty of live music along the route including the lady vicar again. The course itself is generally flat until you come into Cannon Hill Park, at around mile eight, where it starts to ramp up. By the time you go through Edgbaston and past the newly renovated cricket ground it’s getting rather serious hill wise.

I don’t particularly feel either my cold or my ribs but still blame them both for my lack of training which means I’m not going to beat last week’s time, which was target number one. I’m certainly not going to be anywhere near last year’s time of just under 1:37 despite getting a much better start. A tight calf for the last two miles doesn’t help although I don’t think it actually slowed me down any either.

A marker at 20k throws me out, particularly as there doesn’t appear to be a 13 mile one. Just how far is a half marathon in km? I try and work it out in my head. Is it 21.1k? Then we’re counting down in metres and the problem is solved. 800m, 600m, 200m, done. 1:40:27. Not bad, considering.

Then someone asks me to remove my chip from my shoe. Seriously, I can’t bend down there yet. I kick my shoe off, wobble as I retrieve it, and then attempt to pull the chip free of the laces. Five minutes later one chip is with the marshal and I hobble off with one shoe on and one shoe off. Ten metres along the road is a woman with cutters who could have cut the dam thing off for me. You should have been down there at the finish love.

Goodie bag wise... I’m sure they must all be in league with each other. More Redbush tea and more toothpaste. Argggh. Although at least there’s a chocolate bar this time. The T-shirt is a bit bland too. Exactly the same as the other Great Run t-shirts with just ‘Birmingham’ replacing ‘Manchester’, ‘Yorkshire’, ‘North’ etc (delete as applicable). At least they have a range of sizes. Cardiff take note. The most annoying thing though is that neither the T-shirt nor the medal say half marathon on them.

15,000 entered. Just over 11,400 competed in the end which is pretty much the same as last year but with a lot less hitches.

My mate Haile won of course in 1:01:29 and looked like he was jogging most of the time. Gemma Steel won the women’s race in 1:12:21, just ahead of the banana, bet she was relieved about that. At least it wasn’t a giraffe eh Gemma?. Seriously though, running 1:14 dressed as a piece of fruit deserves an award of some sort.

I head to the car to rescue first the boys and then my father. He’s been hemmed in the wrong side of the finish by the crowds which are impressively five to six deep along Broad Street. I dig him out and we just get a good position when L bombs past about five minutes ahead of schedule. Well impressive. Six minutes quicker than last week.

L Time: 02:11:43

Races: 35
Miles: 258.5
T-shirts: 19
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 14
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Cardiff Half Marathon

We leave our accommodation at 6am for the twenty odd mile drive into Cardiff. The race doesn’t start until 9am but as we have the dogs with us the plan is to find a covered car park (in case it gets sunny) and as close to the start as possible.



By 6.50am we’re sorted, parked in a multi-storey overlooking the start/finish. So that’s one tactical plan executed to perfection, now just the race to go. Parking is only £4 per day, all day. Sheffield take note. Soon after that we’re walking the boys around the race village. It’s our first time visiting Cardiff and we’re quite impressed.


We have our photos taken in front of the Tardis...


well it is Cardiff and isn’t that it’s most famous landmark? We even get to see the 2012 Olympic torch. All this and before it’s even light. That's a first, never turned up for a race before when it’s still been dark.



The race gained some notoriety and publicity in 2010, when it turned out to be short by nearly 200 metres. It doesn’t seem to have done it much harm with all 15,000 places sold in advance; although only just over 11,000 make it to the start line. Rumour has it that the missing 4,000 are all men who only entered because Sky TV babe Charlie Webster had her pretty face plastered all over the pre-race literature urging us all to come join her.

Only for her to tweet that she’s ‘Gutted not doing Cardiff half marathon this morning as planned...’ due to injury and nothing to do with the fact that the lifelong Sheffield United fan is covering the Sheffield derby for Sky Sports today...

Well our own organisation has run like clockwork, now what can the organisers do. There were complaints about congestion at the start last year so they’ve decided to colour code it this time. Although there are only three bib colours and they’ve put me in the blue sub-1:30 category. What are they like? Or more likely what the hell did I put on my entry form?

I feel for one of my comrades in the blue zone who comes out of one of the portaloos, falls down the step next to them and starts rolling around on the floor in agony. Oh dear, that ankle is not going to like doing 13.1 miles much.


Then Jamie Baulch starts us off and things go quite well at first. Although, I start too fast obviously. A point that is driven home when a herd of around 100 wildebeest trample me underfoot just past the three mile point as they charge past in pursuit of a chap carrying a little board indicating that he is the 1:30 pacer. Not much point tagging on the back of them, that's well beyond me today.

The drinks stations are a bit odd. Water at three miles, Lucozade sport at six and then what seemed a really huge gap until ten, by which point I was gasping and covered in energy gel. Gel that I had been carrying in readiness for a drinks station at around eight miles, which never came. Then there’s a final, rather pointless one in the last mile.

Oh and they handed out bottles with screw caps at that first water station, so I imagine the road was cobbled with thousands of them by the time the runners nearer the back came through. Not pleasant and a bit of a basic organisational slip up.

Other than that I must compliment the marshals and the crowd, who were excellent and out in numbers. Also the band outside the Royal College of Music and Drama. Overall there was a really good atmosphere and it was good running past all the Cardiff landmarks. Although later I find out that L has missed most of them, which is an allegation she usually levels at me. How could she have missed the likes of Cardiff Castle, the Millennium Stadium and the A4232 Link Road? Actually I’m sure she didn’t miss the link road. That long dual carriageway section was probably not to everybody’s liking but it was to mine. I like a bit of ‘switch off and plod’ and the views were actually great from there as well, the scrap yard aside.

These nice wide roads replaced the ‘popular’ pretty park sections, where everybody fell over everybody else’s feet, last year. So they’ll be complaints but you can't please everybody and anyhow who gets time to take in the splendour of a park while they’re running.

It’s at around this time that the Almighty decides to give me a sign of just how badly I’m actually doing. The giraffe, all twelve feet of him, nonchalantly sidles past me, waving to the crowd as he goes. I’m not the only one to be a little bit put out by this. The guy behind me appears to be organising a lynch mob, if only we can catch the thing, which at the moment looks unlikely.

The dual carriage way is livened up by the hairpin turn at the Bute tunnel which, with its proximity to the finish, is packed to the rafters with supporters and provides a very welcome spur to the aching legs. Then the last few miles across the barrage and through the Penarth Marina are pretty awesome, particularly as it was such a nice day and despite the fact some of us were being paced home by a giraffe who was about to go sub-1:40 and we weren’t. I mean, come on, who’s ever heard of a sub-1:40 giraffe?

Close though. 1:40:10 at the finish line in the bay. A finish line that has been a bit nomadic over the years, it’s been in the Civic Centre, the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff Castle and now it seems to have settled in the bay. A good location but the Millennium Stadium would have been nice too.

I’m pleased with my time, considering the rib situation and I’m only 37 minutes (say it quick) behind race winner Edwin Kiptoo of Kenya, who set a course record time of 1:03.26. Smart arse. That is assuming he didn’t get the bus like that guy from Sunderland.

They’ve added a t-shirt this year which is good, the only problem being they’ve only ordered two sizes, medium and extra large. So naturally, and to the surprise of no one except perhaps the organisers, practically everyone goes for the mediums and they run out at around the two hour mark leaving a lot of women acquiring nothing more than an oversized nightie for their two hours of slog. The men doing over two hours weren’t that impressed either. Not good.

L comes in, not happy with her performance, let alone her new nightie. She’s becoming so like me as regards her performance and she is actually four seconds quicker than a month ago in Nottingham. I say at least it was flat, L protests it wasn’t. Well pretty much flat, except for those hilly bits.

The goodie bag yields yet more Redbush tea and yet more toothpaste but not much else. I’ve only just got down to the bottom of the two mini tubes of toothpaste we got from Nottingham and its not pleasant stuff. There is a sports drink in there but I think it’s from Aldi. So we decide that the appropriately Welsh Brains SA is a much better way to rehydrate.

L Time: 02:17:56

Races: 34
Miles: 245.4
T-shirts: 18
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 13
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Toothpaste: 2
Redbush: 2
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Great Yorkshire 10k Run

I drop L at the bus stop at 6:45am with her stress levels reading ‘red’, which is more to do with having to rely on two buses turning up on time and to dovetail together rather than the race itself. The first bus doesn’t even appear on the electronic signs. Some buses do, some don’t. It’s nothing to do with it not being a council bus and the signs being provided by the council of course. Thankfully it is on time, as is her coach to Sheffield. So stress levels falls a little to a kind of deep amber.

While L heads north, I head south to Peterborough, where the weather seems to be fining up after the early rain. In fact it turns out to be another sunny day, at least at the Peterborough Showground.

Up in Sheffield, L claims to be on the front row, of the second batch of starters but even so, that’s nosebleed territory. I’m so proud.

While I have a frustrating day at the dog show, up in Sheffield L does another 57 minute 10k, so she’s getting very consistent. Now we need to work on getting her to break into the 56s. Her rival for the day is a mere four seconds behind. Blimey. Close then. No wonder she’s straight on the Abbot afterwards as she meets Daughter for lunch.

L Time: 00:57:57

Races: 33
Miles: 232.3
T-shirts: 18
Medals: 12
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Twin Piers Blackpool To Fleetwood 10

I’m not sure a full English would do L much good pre-race, so the boys have hers instead. We’ll find out if its good agility food or not in due course. I drop L in Fleetwood, to make sure she gets there and isn’t at the mercy of the hour long bus journey. Then I hot foot it back to the dog show.

The heatwave appears to be over and now it’s raining. Thankfully I’m indoors; L though isn’t going to be so lucky with her participation in the Twin Piers Blackpool to Fleetwood 10 miler. Having picked up her number from Fleetwood, she has to get the provided coach back to Blackpool from where the race runs mainly along the seafront back to Fleetwood.

When my agility competition finishes I head off to Fleetwood to collect L, who’s sitting in a bus shelter... in her words ‘looking like wino’.

A drenched L has run almost a recent best for 10 miles in the race, bravo, and she’s not even fit. I feel kind of guilty for abandoning her, although she seems happy enough, still grinning from ear to ear after her good time and it was probably quite dry in the bus shelter.

L Time: 01:37:49

Races: 32
Miles: 226.1
T-shirts: 17
Medals: 11
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Crossdale 10k

It’s dull, windy and miserable here in Bakewell but still oddly picturesque with the hills behind us. L though is running in Keyworth, the Crossdale 10k, and up against the U23 GB canoe team. Not sure if they’re any good at running though. She is three minutes down on last year. ‘Shoot me now’, she proclaims, as she heads off to make a donation at the charity cake stall. Does she mean for the run or the cake?

Her time isn’t too bad considering she did have two working legs last year and she was supposed to be taking it easy.

L Time: 01:02:54

Races: 31
Miles: 216.1
T-shirts: 17
Medals: 10
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Tails n Trails 5k

Today it’s the Tails n Trails 5k at Catton Park, which, as you can probably tell from the name, requires a dog. So I’m doing it with MD. Today's race doesn’t start until noon, so we even get a lie-in first.

L decides to enter the 5k with Doggo – the old team. We think ‘Granddad’ can manage an amble round 5k, question is, can L cope with the mental stress, 5k’s a lot of sniffing.

The publicity hasn’t been the best and there are only six entrants, consisting of three men and three women. L starts texting everybody before she starts telling them of her podium finish.

There’s also a dog agility show going on as well, one that I wasn’t aware of but I vow to support them and put MD round the practice ring before we leave. Topping all that entertainment wise, is a fun dog show. You know the kind, with categories such as ugliest dog, waggiest tail etc etc. We reckon MD has the noisiest dog category sewn up. On second thoughts we might skip that.

L takes it really seriously and borrows a proper running harness off a chap who looks like he knows what he’s doing. When we start he goes off like a rocket and I didn’t see him again. So he wins, while MD and I pursue him in second place. We probably pursue him faster than necessary and I rush MD through the many drinks stops - bowls for dogs, nothing for humans, in an attempt to defend our position. A cup of tea at half-way would have been nice; something to do while MD has one of his mega long drinking sessions. We lose by three minutes but come second by a further six minutes, so as I said, the haste was perhaps unnecessary.

Our time isn't great but the course turns out to be on the long side, 3.6 miles rather than the 3.1 miles a 5k is supposed to consist of.

Once finished we go out to the edge of the course to cheer L and Doggo along, which doesn’t quite work out. Doggo grinds to a halt when he sees us cheering him along with still around half a kilometre to run. L accuses me of sabotaging their run. So I lash MD to a nearby tree, climb over the fence and go join them for the last stretch. This gets Doggo moving again. It upsets MD though, the howling was pitiful.

We get medals, rosettes, dog biscuits etc. In fact we got a goody bag before we started and another one afterwards. It doesn’t get better than that!

L And Doggo's Time: 00:38:04

Races: 30
Miles: 209.9
T-shirts: 16
Medals: 10
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Dog Biscuits: 1

Robin Hood Half Marathon

I struggle to sleep due to a sore back, which doesn't bode well at all. A week in a tent and the back’s fine but as soon as I get in a comfy bed it falls apart.

So to today’s half marathon in the place which has been crowned the best city to run in the UK. The tannoy keeps telling us this, so it must be true. I can’t say I agree but I haven’t ran regularly anywhere else, so I assume all the other cities must be worse.

There’s a field of around 7,000 for the main two races, the full and half marathons and the start is a bit more chaotic than I remember from last year. Perhaps because of the use of metal barriers on the start pens, which rather than encouraging people to get in their right start areas I think has the opposite effect and you simply get in where you can.

Once we've started though, the brilliant organisation kicks in and it's this along with the excellent support of the spectators and marshals, that makes this such a good race.

It took a mile to get in my stride which isn’t too bad I suppose. My stride being 7.15 per mile pace. Which I hold quite well at first. I’m slightly up at 3 miles and then on pace until 8 miles. Then it collapses a bit. Nothing over 8.00 mind, which is encouraging, although 7.59 for mile 12 was edging it a bit. Mostly my last five miles are in the 7.25-7.40 window, which means simply that I must train harder.

My excuse is that for some reason it seemed hillier this year. L says not. Well at least not until the end where the finish has been made more interesting due to the flood defence work. They zigzag us though the new flood wall before finally taking us up and over it on a steel ramp. It was nearly one hill too far and then still you can’t see the finish because it’s off to the side but eventually I staggered over it.

1 hour 37 minutes is a minute down on my PB set last year but a best for this year, so I can’t be too dismayed or perhaps I can. I’ll ponder that over a pint later.

The goody bag was a bit pathetic again, for what isn't a cheap race. Some cleaning cloths and toothpaste might come in useful but it’s hardly much of a reward for thirteen miles. Thank heavens for the pack of crisps and the mars bar...

The medal is ok, if you like medals, personally I don't and I’d rather have a t-shirt or one of the much maligned and now axed lace panels but probably just because I’ve never had one.



L's quick, a lot quicker than at Leek but a bit slower than at Newark. So she's not happy. She sounds so like me. Today's thirteen miles takes her total over the 200.

L's Time: 02:18:00

Races: 29
Miles: 206.3
T-shirts: 16
Medals: 9
Bags Of Crisps: 3
Chocolate Bars: 3
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Wilne 10k

L likes being inaugural. So despite the fact I point out it’s the inaugural Dunchurch bike ride and offer to hire a tandem, we’re here a mere ten miles down the road a Church Wilne for the inaugural Wilne 10k. So too is protégé, so I have competition. This is what his personal trainer has been destroying, sorry I mean training, him for.

It is possibly the most hyped new race I’ve ever known and I mean that in a nice way. The organisers have promoted this race at every opportunity and have been present to push it at many local races. They are rewarded with a field of over 560 entries.

The organisation is impressive apart from one major fail, a distinct lack of loos. Which is a basic thing to get wrong. I could also gripe that the car park and race village falls mid way between the start and finish points, about half a mile from each. This makes spectating for people like my Dad difficult, as he’s not capable of hot footing it from start to finish. He’s happy though and positions himself at the finish which is also the 4k point on this is a two lap course but I do think having the finish by the race village would have made for a better post-race atmosphere.

The race itself went well. Almost as flat as they advertised but not pancake flat. The course was basically a big square, lots of straight flat traffic free sections. We could have done without the rain though. Mainly dry for the actual race but downpours before and afterwards.

The local residents came out in force especially in Draycott and especially the mad woman with the bell, which may or may not have helped. Plus a nice cotton t-shirt at the end, I’m a bit sick of all the technical ones that we keep getting and they usually don’t fit me anyway.

I went for a 42, held a pretty constant pace and just dipped under 42:00 so was happy. Three minutes ahead of protégé, not that I’m counting. As for L, a dodgy groin seemed set to put paid to a good time for her but no. She gritted her teeth and got home in her first sub-57 of the year and for some time. Perhaps her sessions with her personal trainer are helping, I hope she thanks him properly later.

L's Time: 00:56:27

Races: 28
Miles: 193.2
T-shirts: 15
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Morecambe Mile

We head for Morecambe, where the weather is incredibly bleak and terrifically windy. So nice weather for the Morecambe Mile. I’m so glad I’m not involved. It’s just L, a couple of hundred others and some rather fearsome looking waves. Lovely weather for swimming...

On the plus side, the Morecambe and Heysham Yacht Club who are hosting the event are churning out the bacon rolls, flapjacks and hot drinks at a rate of knots. They’ve even got a table full of cakes for later. So the organisation is top notch.

As everyone else gets wetsuited up and heads out onto the front, the dogs and I try to get a good viewing position, somewhere where we won't get blown over the sea wall. Then we are told of the delayed start, which is greeted by mostly relieved looks all round. Then we’re told that they’ve moved the start. Preferably to warmer climes but no just a hundred yards or so down to a 'calmer' bay. The waves are oooh 5% smaller here. We watch a couple of boats struggle out into the sea with the buoys which will mark out the course, the boats bobbing up and down on the ever increasing tide.

Then a chap who looks kind of official jumps up on a wall, calls everyone round and tells us it’s all off. Cancelled. They’ll be no Morecambe Mile. A few cries of ‘Oh no, I was looking forward to a good buffeting against the rocks’, or something like that, go out but are quickly drowned out (if you excuse the pun) by a relieved round of applause from everyone else. It’s disappointing but there’s always the cakes.

Then we partake in a bracing walk along the sea front, to walk off the cakes and to try and find Doggo a bit of beach. Of which there is none, the tide is still stubbornly in and still looking fearsomely unswimmable.

This is how windy it was.

Race Cancelled

Races: 27
Miles: 186.9
T-shirts: 14
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Leek Half Marathon

We could have been at Welbourn today, which although the course didn’t suit me, being off-road, they had a free pint for all finishers last year, which did suit. Tempting... but seemingly not as tempting as the very unflat (370m of climbing) Leek Half Marathon.

The start at Brough Park Leisure Centre is worryingly downhill, very downhill, and what goes down must come back up.



The route undulating route takes us through Meerbrook and past Tittesworth Reservoir. At which point I realise that I’ve done a cycle event along these roads, which wasn't easy either.

Then there's a short section along a main road where we are coned to one side. This slows the pace and gives you time to contemplate what is ahead. What's ahead is a steady climb through Upper Hulme and then up to The Roaches.




Challenging is one word to describe it. No pain, no gain, someone once said.

The six mile point, and the drinks station there, more or less marks the top, which reveals some outstanding views. Now the promise is of three miles of descent back to Meerbrook. Hmmm. As I run along some nice quiet country lanes (quiet that is apart from a few impatient 4x4 drivers) admiring the view we descend a bit, but then go up a bit, then down a bit, then up a bit more... this isn’t my idea of downhill. Then a sharp left and woah... it’s like plunging off the top of a rollercoaster. This is down, brutally down. Though I’d still dispute the three mile theory.

The drinks stations even offer sponges, which I approve of. Not enough races make use of the humble sponge as a cooling aid.

Then it's a simple matter of retracing the first few miles back to Leek, which from experience (an hour ago) we know the profile of. This includes the last half mile up Park Road, which is an uphill drag that reduces quite a few to walking and possibly tears. Wimps.

They say expect to be 5 or 6 minutes slower than in a normal flat half marathon. So I’m kind of stunned to see the race clock still with 1:42 on it. Must have stopped. That's only a minute or slower than ‘flat’ Newark last week. I actually ran the second half of the race over two minutes quicker than last week. It had a bit of a downhill slant to it but there was still plenty of up about it, whereas last week was supposedly flat. A promising stat I feel. Something must be paying off.

L doesn't share my enthusiasm for the event and doesn’t have the best of days but we can't all be brilliant every week.

L's Time: 02:29:38

Races: 26
Miles: 186.9
T-shirts: 13
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Newark Half Marathon

A half marathon today in Newark, which I’m regarding as a training run. As I will next week’s in Leek. I’ve been injured you know. The overriding aim is to get up to something approaching a PB by Nottingham on 11th September. Then go quicker at Birmingham and Cardiff in October.

Parking is great, we were warned about parking charges applying on a Sunday but in the end we parked in the street, just behind the start, for free. Can’t get better than that.

It’s the 30th anniversary of this race which is another reason to do it. L likes being inaugural, I like being celebratory. The race started out as a humble six-miler, which due to the explosion in the popularity of running in the early 1980’s could no longer cope with the amount of people wanting to run it and so the half marathon was born.

They’re also saying it could be the last due to the increasing costs associated with road closures along with the introduction of chip timing and technical t-shirts for this year. True, the start on Appletongate is very narrow and congested, so probably warrants chip timing because some of the 1,000 runners will take a while to cross the start line. They could of course always look to move the start, it was very chaotic getting everybody into position in the reduced space they have at the current location but that is probably easier said than done.

The t-shirt argument is less clear cut. Probably only two years ago getting a technical t-shirt from a race was a rarity, now they’re all doing it. So that I don’t have to do any clothes shopping, my wardrobe requires a mix of normal t-shirts as well as technical ones. So personally I think that’s an unnecessary change. Hopefully the race will go on next year because generally it’s a very well organised and popular race.

We start and I try to get myself into a steady pace, around 7:30 per mile but my overriding aim is to not do any miles in over 8:00, which I almost but don’t quite achieve. My pace is too steady at first but it reaps benefits. In the crowded start I end up running behind a young girl whose running kit, or lack of it, renders her practically naked. Imagine skimpy running top matched with skimpy running shorts. She also has a belt around her waist on which she is carrying a drinks bottle and, I think, a GPS. The weight of which, as she runs along, gradually tugs her already low slung shorts lower and lower. By now it’s getting quite crowded behind her as runners gather, ok male runners gather, to see how far she’ll let them go before she rescues the situation.

Sadly for me, the pace is just too slow and I give up my front row position, overtake her and push on. I wasn’t interested anyway but if anyone knows what happened next please feel free to let me know.

About three miles in I get myself into a little group, a sensibly clothed group, all running at about my pace. I like little groups; it makes me feel like I’m in a real race.

The race itself is a race of two halves. The first half was through a few housing estates and was a bit boring, well apart from the girl losing her shorts, whereas the second half took us out in to some pleasant countryside and through Balderton and Coddington.



There are six drinks stations which, as it’s a fairly warm day, is a good thing but as they only have plastic cups and I can’t drink out of plastics cups, it affects my rhythm a touch. Each time I grab a drink, and I do at five of the stops, I have to walk a bit in order not to tip it all down my front.

It also means that each time I lose touch with my group and have to work my way back up to them. I do this three times but after the third time a few in the group decide to push on just as I get back to them. I see this as a rather cruel trick that is usually employed by racing cyclists. In reality, they were just doing their own thing I’m sure. Either way I hadn’t got the legs to go with them.

In fact I die at bit at that point, at around nine miles, but on only two weeks training, with a longest distance of nine miles, it wasn't exactly surprising. A gel boost at 10.5 miles manages to get me through the rest of the race.

Still, the last thing I needed was a crazy woman with a hose pipe at one of the later water stations. I manage to dodge her and only get one leg wet. Admittedly some people like to run through water but where she was standing she was practically unavoidable.

Someone told me this is race is flat, it isn't. It isn’t particularly hilly either but I wouldn’t call it flat. Between mile 11 and 12 we seemed to be gradually climbing uphill all the time. Someone also said it was downhill from the 12 mile point, it isn't. Well it is, until the final kick uphill to the line in the Market Place.

I cross the line in 1:41. Happy but not ecstatic with that. A minute less would have been perfect. I’m knackered but not as bad as the chap who finished after me whom after lifting his foot to an attendant to have his timing chip removed, seized up and had to be fireman lifted away by the St Johns' Ambulance people. Oh dear.

The technical t-shirts are only being issued in large for men and medium for women. So they tended to look big on almost everyone. Another reason to go back to normal t-shirts.

The queue for the massages is too long, so I head back to the car, change my shirt and head off up the course to meet L. I miss her again, as I did the other week. If she’s going to bomb round in 2:12 every week I’m going to have to get my act together. I return to the finish area to find her checking in all the ambulances for me. Bless.

L's Time: 02:12:57

Races: 25
Miles: 173.8
T-shirts: 12
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Jägermeister 10k

L prepares for tonight’s Jägermeister 10k with a weights session in the gym and a swim. I prepare by sitting at my desk.



The Jägermeister is a tough hilly race around Nottingham University but it is usually oddly enjoyable with a nice post-race function afterwards.

I’ve done some good times here despite the hilly course. 2007 - 41:23, 2008 - 40:42, 2009 - 42:09. We didn’t do it last year.

2009 was a bit of a blip obviously. Not as big a blip as this year though. 44:07. Oh dear. Just shows what an injury break, insufficient training and two more years on the clock does for you. L’s consistent though, again well under the hour and 30 seconds quicker than in midweek.

We adjourn to the Sports And Social club for the post-race where most of the men, and some of the women, are queuing up to request ‘the blonde’ over the bar. That’ll be Ossett’s Yorkshire Blonde. I don’t usually go for Blondes but this one’s alright.

We stick with it rather than go elsewhere and therefore gain entry into the ‘race number’ raffle. One year I won a towel, this year predictably nothing.

L's Time: 00:58:27

Races: 24
Miles: 160.7
T-shirts: 11
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Jack Pigg's Mickleover 10k

L’s doing a race tonight, I’m not, I’m saving myself for Friday’s Jägermeister 10k. Well, she was supposed to be doing a race tonight but now she asks if she can 'do a Paula’, as in Radcliffe.

I’m not sure what she means... Win? Drop out half-way through? Hopefully she’s not planning to relive herself in the gutter?

L reckons she won't do as well as last year, so says she might as well drop out now and tell everyone that she’s pulled a muscle or something. That’s quite bitchy actually. I tell her that only applies to those that won it last year and to get on with it. Hard but fair.

The race is called the 'Mickleover 10k' by some or the 'Jack Piggs 10k' by others or just 'plain and rather dull with the last 5k down a totally straight stretch of old railway with no distinguishing features' by me. It starts at the Mickleover Sports Club and, at least with me not running, I can take the boys.

L’s not happy with her run. Her time’s not bad but not as good as last year's. Two years ago she’d have been thrilled with that. We stop off at L’s folks for a cuppa on the way home, which saves us some units, which might be needed later in the week. What with the Jägermeister coming up.

L's Time: 00:58:58

Races: 23
Miles: 154.5
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

The Run

I’m hoping to do the race tonight. It’s only four miles, how hard can that be? Even with fractured, I mean bruised ribs. I’m tempted to cycle to work as well and make it a really good training day but L points out that this might not be wise. Wise? For once I take her advice.

So, after work, I get the bus to work and then to the race start at the Navigation Inn in Breaston. L does the same from the other direction.

I get changed and jog along part of the course. When I don’t double up in agony, I decide the jobs a good ‘un and hand over my £6 to enter. It’s a good job it’s an alcohol free Wednesday, they’ve got Abbot Ale and Screech Owl on the bar. Not often you get two 5%ers side by side.



Anyhow, the race, I aim to take it nice and steady, I don’t want any relapses. I’d even be happy with 7:30 minute miles. In the end I do 7:00 minute miles, which I think is quite impressive considering.

I would have had to have gone quicker if protégée had been here but he isn’t. I’ll need to up my game by September though. He’s taken on a personal trainer so that he can do a good time at the Wilne 10k. He classifies a good time as 43:00 minutes and he only did a 44:00 at Derby but he’s bluffing. I know he can go faster than that. He knows he can go faster than that.

As he’s not here, I don’t have to worry about him but then a chap I used to work with overtakes me before the one mile marker. That shocks me, he’s never beaten me, ever. I speed up, stalk him for a while, then when I get bored with that and see something much more interesting to follow up the road, I pass him.

I thought that would be that but when I pass the line in a respectable 28 minutes for the 4.2 miles he crosses the line not 30 seconds behind me. When I check my previous times for this race I see I’ve run a 25 in all three previous years. So, blimey I was taking it easy wasn’t I?

L too isn’t that far behind me, well seven minutes, and complaining how hard it was. She says the shorter the distance the tougher the race and she may well be right.

No mug this year, which is disappointing as I’ve got the previous three. Two in white, one in black and was hoping for another black one to make a nice set. Instead it’s a pen and a chocolate bar.

L's Time: 00:36:06

Races: 22
Miles: 148.3
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1