Burton Joyce 10k

L had tried to get into a race up in Rother Valley today but that was so badly advertised it was cancelled due to lack of interest. There was one in Birmingham, a five miler and it looked like we would be heading there. I didn’t really mind where we went, I intended to be on bacon butty duty no matter what but then L found something far more local. The Burton Joyce 10k. It sounded ideal. If it was on... as it wasn’t exactly being heavily advertised but it wasn’t far to go if it’s cancelled or full.

When we found some details, it confirmed the main thing, that they had bacon cobs. Although I quickly became tempted with the run. The photos on the website show people running on tarmac and not through some muddy field. It’s also the sort of race I might do well in... e.g. badly advertised and no one decent turns up, but only if I prepared properly the night before... e.g. four pints of something 5% followed by a whisky chaser. Which I haven’t done, unfortunately.

It says that if you walk the 5k you get a free bacon cob – all for £2, or you can run the 10k for £6 and buy your own. Incentive? Not. Decisions decisions. If I was a mileage slag like L I wouldn't have such a tough decision to make.

Then L expresses concerns for my street cred, not that I thought I had any. What if someone I knew saw me doing a poncy 5K walk? Could I live it down? Could I have a pint of Abbot on the back of a 5K walk? Clearly there's much more to think about than a mere bacon butty.

So here I am, on the start line. However you can scrub that doing well. There are quite a lot of entrants and they look a pretty fit bunch to me. We start and the first thing to say is I’m not sure about the km marking. 3:38 for the first km and then 4:40 for the second doesn’t sound right. I also find the ‘Fun Run’ signs all the way around unnerving, they seem to imply either I’m on the wrong course or I should be enjoying it. I’m not particularly; it hurts all the way around due to Friday's run.

They make us run back past the finish, which I assume is where you stop if you’re only doing the 5k. However we’ve only done 4.5k, which makes the £2 ‘Meal n Walk Deal’ even better.

I’ve made my choice though and now I’ve got two laps of a 1k loop around the pub, where there’s no one counting your laps and I suspect a few short cutters. Before I even get on to my first loop though the winner blasts past me in the opposite direction, in the lead by some distance. I’m not even at the 7k marker, such was his lead.

Finally loops done, I’m on the final stretch and I hear someone coming up behind me heavy-footedly, I'm knackered so I decide that he can go past, I won’t fight it. That is until I realise there's three of them. That puts a completely different complexion on the matter, I can't allow that. I try and speed up, ultimately holding them off.

I cross the line, having flogged my guts out all the way round, only to discover there’s no one taking results at the finish. Now I understand the bloody ‘Fun Run’ signs, only it wasn't.

At 43:47 I’m about a minute quicker than I have been doing and allegedly 9th but I can't confirm this. There’s a good time for L too, who’s back in the 58's and that's 350 miles up for the year.

L Time: 00:58:27

Races: 48
Miles: 350.1
T-shirts: 25
T-shirts/Nighties: 1
Medals: 16
Chocolate Bars: 6
Bags Of Crisps: 4
Toothpaste: 3
Redbush: 3
Bags: 3
Dog Biscuits: 2
Certificates: 1
Glow Sticks: 1
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1
Rosettes: 1
Christmas Puddings: 1
Antlers: 1