Why is it called 'Going To Fail'? Ask Daughter.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Morecambe Mile

We head for Morecambe, where the weather is incredibly bleak and terrifically windy. So nice weather for the Morecambe Mile. I’m so glad I’m not involved. It’s just L, a couple of hundred others and some rather fearsome looking waves. Lovely weather for swimming...


On the plus side, the Morecambe and Heysham Yacht Club who are hosting the event are churning out the bacon rolls, flapjacks and hot drinks at a rate of knots. They’ve even got a table full of cakes for later. So the organisation is top notch.

As everyone else gets wetsuited up and heads out onto the front, the dogs and I try to get a good viewing position, somewhere where we won't get blown over the sea wall. Then we are told of the delayed start, which is greeted by mostly relieved looks all round. Then we’re told that they’ve moved the start. Preferably to warmer climes but no just a hundred yards or so down to a 'calmer' bay. The waves are oooh 5% smaller here. We watch a couple of boats struggle out into the sea with the buoys which will mark out the course, the boats bobbing up and down on the ever increasing tide.


Then a chap who looks kind of official jumps up on a wall, calls everyone round and tells us it’s all off. Cancelled. They’ll be no Morecambe Mile. A few cries of ‘Oh no, I was looking forward to a good buffeting against the rocks’, or something like that, go out but are quickly drowned out (if you excuse the pun) by a relieved round of applause from everyone else. It’s disappointing but there’s always the cakes.

Then we partake in a bracing walk along the sea front, to walk off the cakes and to try and find Doggo a bit of beach. Of which there is none, the tide is still stubbornly in and still looking fearsomely unswimmable.

This is how windy it was.

Race Cancelled

Races: 27
Miles: 186.9
T-shirts: 14
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Leek Half Marathon

We could have been at Welbourn today, which although the course didn’t suit me, being off-road, they had a free pint for all finishers last year, which did suit. Tempting... but seemingly not as tempting as the very unflat (370m of climbing) Leek Half Marathon.

The start at Brough Park Leisure Centre is worryingly downhill, very downhill, and what goes down must come back up.



The route undulating route takes us through Meerbrook and past Tittesworth Reservoir. At which point I realise that I’ve done a cycle event along these roads, which wasn't easy either.

Then there's a short section along a main road where we are coned to one side. This slows the pace and gives you time to contemplate what is ahead. What's ahead is a steady climb through Upper Hulme and then up to The Roaches.




Challenging is one word to describe it. No pain, no gain, someone once said.

The six mile point, and the drinks station there, more or less marks the top, which reveals some outstanding views. Now the promise is of three miles of descent back to Meerbrook. Hmmm. As I run along some nice quiet country lanes (quiet that is apart from a few impatient 4x4 drivers) admiring the view we descend a bit, but then go up a bit, then down a bit, then up a bit more... this isn’t my idea of downhill. Then a sharp left and woah... it’s like plunging off the top of a rollercoaster. This is down, brutally down. Though I’d still dispute the three mile theory.

The drinks stations even offer sponges, which I approve of. Not enough races make use of the humble sponge as a cooling aid.

Then it's a simple matter of retracing the first few miles back to Leek, which from experience (an hour ago) we know the profile of. This includes the last half mile up Park Road, which is an uphill drag that reduces quite a few to walking and possibly tears. Wimps.

They say expect to be 5 or 6 minutes slower than in a normal flat half marathon. So I’m kind of stunned to see the race clock still with 1:42 on it. Must have stopped. That's only a minute or slower than ‘flat’ Newark last week. I actually ran the second half of the race over two minutes quicker than last week. It had a bit of a downhill slant to it but there was still plenty of up about it, whereas last week was supposedly flat. A promising stat I feel. Something must be paying off.

L doesn't share my enthusiasm for the event and doesn’t have the best of days but we can't all be brilliant every week.

L's Time: 02:29:38

Races: 26
Miles: 186.9
T-shirts: 13
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Newark Half Marathon

A half marathon today in Newark, which I’m regarding as a training run. As I will next week’s in Leek. I’ve been injured you know. The overriding aim is to get up to something approaching a PB by Nottingham on 11th September. Then go quicker at Birmingham and Cardiff in October.

Parking is great, we were warned about parking charges applying on a Sunday but in the end we parked in the street, just behind the start, for free. Can’t get better than that.

It’s the 30th anniversary of this race which is another reason to do it. L likes being inaugural, I like being celebratory. The race started out as a humble six-miler, which due to the explosion in the popularity of running in the early 1980’s could no longer cope with the amount of people wanting to run it and so the half marathon was born.

They’re also saying it could be the last due to the increasing costs associated with road closures along with the introduction of chip timing and technical t-shirts for this year. True, the start on Appletongate is very narrow and congested, so probably warrants chip timing because some of the 1,000 runners will take a while to cross the start line. They could of course always look to move the start, it was very chaotic getting everybody into position in the reduced space they have at the current location but that is probably easier said than done.

The t-shirt argument is less clear cut. Probably only two years ago getting a technical t-shirt from a race was a rarity, now they’re all doing it. So that I don’t have to do any clothes shopping, my wardrobe requires a mix of normal t-shirts as well as technical ones. So personally I think that’s an unnecessary change. Hopefully the race will go on next year because generally it’s a very well organised and popular race.

We start and I try to get myself into a steady pace, around 7:30 per mile but my overriding aim is to not do any miles in over 8:00, which I almost but don’t quite achieve. My pace is too steady at first but it reaps benefits. In the crowded start I end up running behind a young girl whose running kit, or lack of it, renders her practically naked. Imagine skimpy running top matched with skimpy running shorts. She also has a belt around her waist on which she is carrying a drinks bottle and, I think, a GPS. The weight of which, as she runs along, gradually tugs her already low slung shorts lower and lower. By now it’s getting quite crowded behind her as runners gather, ok male runners gather, to see how far she’ll let them go before she rescues the situation.

Sadly for me, the pace is just too slow and I give up my front row position, overtake her and push on. I wasn’t interested anyway but if anyone knows what happened next please feel free to let me know.

About three miles in I get myself into a little group, a sensibly clothed group, all running at about my pace. I like little groups; it makes me feel like I’m in a real race.

The race itself is a race of two halves. The first half was through a few housing estates and was a bit boring, well apart from the girl losing her shorts, whereas the second half took us out in to some pleasant countryside and through Balderton and Coddington.



There are six drinks stations which, as it’s a fairly warm day, is a good thing but as they only have plastic cups and I can’t drink out of plastics cups, it affects my rhythm a touch. Each time I grab a drink, and I do at five of the stops, I have to walk a bit in order not to tip it all down my front.

It also means that each time I lose touch with my group and have to work my way back up to them. I do this three times but after the third time a few in the group decide to push on just as I get back to them. I see this as a rather cruel trick that is usually employed by racing cyclists. In reality, they were just doing their own thing I’m sure. Either way I hadn’t got the legs to go with them.

In fact I die at bit at that point, at around nine miles, but on only two weeks training, with a longest distance of nine miles, it wasn't exactly surprising. A gel boost at 10.5 miles manages to get me through the rest of the race.

Still, the last thing I needed was a crazy woman with a hose pipe at one of the later water stations. I manage to dodge her and only get one leg wet. Admittedly some people like to run through water but where she was standing she was practically unavoidable.

Someone told me this is race is flat, it isn't. It isn’t particularly hilly either but I wouldn’t call it flat. Between mile 11 and 12 we seemed to be gradually climbing uphill all the time. Someone also said it was downhill from the 12 mile point, it isn't. Well it is, until the final kick uphill to the line in the Market Place.

I cross the line in 1:41. Happy but not ecstatic with that. A minute less would have been perfect. I’m knackered but not as bad as the chap who finished after me whom after lifting his foot to an attendant to have his timing chip removed, seized up and had to be fireman lifted away by the St Johns' Ambulance people. Oh dear.

The technical t-shirts are only being issued in large for men and medium for women. So they tended to look big on almost everyone. Another reason to go back to normal t-shirts.

The queue for the massages is too long, so I head back to the car, change my shirt and head off up the course to meet L. I miss her again, as I did the other week. If she’s going to bomb round in 2:12 every week I’m going to have to get my act together. I return to the finish area to find her checking in all the ambulances for me. Bless.

L's Time: 02:12:57

Races: 25
Miles: 173.8
T-shirts: 12
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Friday, August 5, 2011

Jägermeister 10k

L prepares for tonight’s Jägermeister 10k with a weights session in the gym and a swim. I prepare by sitting at my desk.



The Jägermeister is a tough hilly race around Nottingham University but it is usually oddly enjoyable with a nice post-race function afterwards.

I’ve done some good times here despite the hilly course. 2007 - 41:23, 2008 - 40:42, 2009 - 42:09. We didn’t do it last year.

2009 was a bit of a blip obviously. Not as big a blip as this year though. 44:07. Oh dear. Just shows what an injury break, insufficient training and two more years on the clock does for you. L’s consistent though, again well under the hour and 30 seconds quicker than in midweek.

We adjourn to the Sports And Social club for the post-race where most of the men, and some of the women, are queuing up to request ‘the blonde’ over the bar. That’ll be Ossett’s Yorkshire Blonde. I don’t usually go for Blondes but this one’s alright.

We stick with it rather than go elsewhere and therefore gain entry into the ‘race number’ raffle. One year I won a towel, this year predictably nothing.

L's Time: 00:58:27

Races: 24
Miles: 160.7
T-shirts: 11
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Jack Pigg's Mickleover 10k

L’s doing a race tonight, I’m not, I’m saving myself for Friday’s Jägermeister 10k. Well, she was supposed to be doing a race tonight but now she asks if she can 'do a Paula’, as in Radcliffe.

I’m not sure what she means... Win? Drop out half-way through? Hopefully she’s not planning to relive herself in the gutter?

L reckons she won't do as well as last year, so says she might as well drop out now and tell everyone that she’s pulled a muscle or something. That’s quite bitchy actually. I tell her that only applies to those that won it last year and to get on with it. Hard but fair.

The race is called the 'Mickleover 10k' by some or the 'Jack Piggs 10k' by others or just 'plain and rather dull with the last 5k down a totally straight stretch of old railway with no distinguishing features' by me. It starts at the Mickleover Sports Club and, at least with me not running, I can take the boys.

L’s not happy with her run. Her time’s not bad but not as good as last year's. Two years ago she’d have been thrilled with that. We stop off at L’s folks for a cuppa on the way home, which saves us some units, which might be needed later in the week. What with the Jägermeister coming up.

L's Time: 00:58:58

Races: 23
Miles: 154.5
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1