Why is it called 'Going To Fail'? Ask Daughter.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Run

I’m hoping to do the race tonight. It’s only four miles, how hard can that be? Even with fractured, I mean bruised ribs. I’m tempted to cycle to work as well and make it a really good training day but L points out that this might not be wise. Wise? For once I take her advice.

So, after work, I get the bus to work and then to the race start at the Navigation Inn in Breaston. L does the same from the other direction.

I get changed and jog along part of the course. When I don’t double up in agony, I decide the jobs a good ‘un and hand over my £6 to enter. It’s a good job it’s an alcohol free Wednesday, they’ve got Abbot Ale and Screech Owl on the bar. Not often you get two 5%ers side by side.



Anyhow, the race, I aim to take it nice and steady, I don’t want any relapses. I’d even be happy with 7:30 minute miles. In the end I do 7:00 minute miles, which I think is quite impressive considering.

I would have had to have gone quicker if protégée had been here but he isn’t. I’ll need to up my game by September though. He’s taken on a personal trainer so that he can do a good time at the Wilne 10k. He classifies a good time as 43:00 minutes and he only did a 44:00 at Derby but he’s bluffing. I know he can go faster than that. He knows he can go faster than that.

As he’s not here, I don’t have to worry about him but then a chap I used to work with overtakes me before the one mile marker. That shocks me, he’s never beaten me, ever. I speed up, stalk him for a while, then when I get bored with that and see something much more interesting to follow up the road, I pass him.

I thought that would be that but when I pass the line in a respectable 28 minutes for the 4.2 miles he crosses the line not 30 seconds behind me. When I check my previous times for this race I see I’ve run a 25 in all three previous years. So, blimey I was taking it easy wasn’t I?

L too isn’t that far behind me, well seven minutes, and complaining how hard it was. She says the shorter the distance the tougher the race and she may well be right.

No mug this year, which is disappointing as I’ve got the previous three. Two in white, one in black and was hoping for another black one to make a nice set. Instead it’s a pen and a chocolate bar.

L's Time: 00:36:06

Races: 22
Miles: 148.3
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Chocolate Bars: 2
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Belper 10k

While I'm in Rugby trying (unsuccessfully) to qualify for Crufts, L’s in Belper for the Belper Charity 10k with Roy Mc and Nigel Clough. Turns out though Roy’s only doing the prize giving and Nige is running the 5k. Footballers eh?

L’s told to add six minutes to her expected time, it’s hilly and apparently inaccurately marked. Hmmm, we’ve done a few of those recently.

So it’s not one of her quickest runs but looking at the winning mens' times, which are horrendous, it looks like she did well. In the photos they upload later, she’s powering it, smiling and looking great. If I’d ran it I would probably have gone over 45 and then I’d have to have topped myself, yet I would have been top 10.

L's Time: 01:05:26

Races: 21
Miles: 144.1
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 8
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Friday, July 15, 2011

Tara Kinder 10k

L’s murderous mood, nothing to do with me I hope, could produce a sub-50 time tonight. I’ll look forward to that. It’ll be prawn cocktails all round later then, although apparently that pre-race strategy is old hat. Tonight’s experiment is with rice pudding.

I leave work and walk the three miles or so to Elvaston Castle, while L gets the bus over. I have entered this one but I think I’m watching. I feel I ought to run but also feel it might be a bad idea. A gentle jog might do me good, but I don’t know how to gentle jog. My folks turn up to support, despite the fact I’m too decrepit to run it.

I seem to have supported at this event so many times but I’ve never ran it. Last year I was saving myself for Crich the next day, in previous years it’s clashed with the Erewash and/or Hathersage triathlons that I’ve run. This year was to be my year, pre falling off the bike that is. I think I’m destined not to be in this one.

It rains again as usual, so at least I’m out of that. As I’ve entered I still get to pick up my t-shirt, the bright fluorescent yellow race t-shirt. Nice.



So how does the rice pudding go. Pretty well actually. L’s quickest 10k since Barnsley in November and only one second off that.

L's Time: 00:57:16

Races: 20
Miles: 137.9
T-shirts: 10
Medals: 7
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hardwick Race

Tonight the Hardwick Nearly 10k Run, 6 miles and 285 yards which works out at 9.917km. It’s been ran almost every year since 1981 and this is the 29th running. So I might be in it next year, as I can’t seem to resist a birthday celebration.

It’s an unmissable evening with Elvis laid on as post-race entertainment and the Rotherham United cheerleaders during. Which is ok for us who aren’t competing. Although their routine to Katy Perry at full blast drives me down the lane for a walk with the dogs instead.

Before the race starts this year’s ‘Mystery Runner’ lights three beacons on route from Hardwick Hall to the start in Pilsley. This year it’s Philip Harries, former GB Olympic 400m hurdler and also once part of the Olympic Bobsleigh team. He's running late. I guess 400m runners aren't used to running as far as three miles.



I do try a short run of my own, around 1k, just to see how it goes and to assess the possibility of running the Tara Kinder 10k race tomorrow. ‘Listen to your body’ is what they say but mine is still arguing with itself.



The course record is an impressive 30:54 from way back in 1986, on a very hilly course, and doesn’t come close to being broken this year. Although the winning time, 33:54, is still mightily impressive. L gets under the hour which is an achievement in itself.

L's Time: 00:59:23

Races: 19
Miles: 131.7
T-shirts: 9
Medals: 7
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Eccup 10

We head over to Adel, ten miles or so away from where we're camping, for the Eccup 10 mile race. I had always intended to sit this one out but after my cycling mishap it’s looking an even better decision. Anyway, I love a bit of supporting.



After the race has started, I have time to grab a welcome coffee or two, even more welcome seeing as we forgot out own coffee supplies and I was stuck drinking tea all day yesterday. There is only so much tea I can take. Then I use the runners changing facilities to grab a shower, as the dog show has neglected to provide such basic facilities.

I get back to the start/finish area just in time to see the winner cross the line five minutes ahead of the field and, checking my watch, in roughly 55 minutes. I think that’s impressive until I get nearer to the finish, see the electronic clock and realise that the race was almost near five minutes late starting. His time was actually 0:51:18, very very impressive and a new course record.



I’d have been over 20 minutes behind him. L will be a bit longer than that, time for another coffee I think and to watch a bit of cricket. There’s a junior game going on next to the finish area. A bit too close to the finish area really, which is really the only organisational failure of the race because all the runners end up walking on the cricket pitch. I don't think this would have been allowed to happen had it been an adult cricket match.



L comes in, in another good time, but in not quite her quickest 10 miles of the year. The race memento they dish out here varies every year. In 2007 it was a kit bag, in 2008 a mug (glad we missed that one, we have plenty of mugs), 2009 it was a rucksack and last year, they gave out a technical t-shirt. L chooses to enter in the year they decide to give out a paperweight... Not just any old paperweight but exactly the same paperweight we have already received from several other races. The Yorkshire crowd seemed pleased with this, it was something different for them, not realising that there’s a pandemic of these things in the Midlands at the moment and it’s clearly now spreading northwards.

L's Time: 01:39:43

Races: 18
Miles: 125.5
T-shirts: 9
Medals: 6
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Paperweights: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Nottingham Grand Prix Series: Race 4 - Colwick Park 5 Miles

Commonsense and the fact that I find even a brisk walk painful after amassing fifteen bruises (approximately) in my bike fall yesterday, means I skip tonight’s final race of the Grand Prix series and support L instead. I think of asking her to push me round in a wheelchair but decide against it. At least this way the boys get a night out and a chance to bark at some runners.



L does well again, again knocking over a minute off last year’s time. All of which will give her a good overall placing in the series. Better than mine obviously, having skipped this race I won’t get a final placing at all. I do still claim my series t-shirt, which is disappointingly long sleeved, which means it won’t get worn until November at the earliest.

L's Time: 00:46:01

Races: 17
Miles: 115.5
T-shirts: 9
Medals: 6
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Nottingham Grand Prix Series: Race 3 - Rushcliffe Country Park 5k

It’s the third race of the Grand Prix series tonight, not held as usual at Bruce Wayne’s Manor, sorry I mean Wollaton Hall, but tonight at good old dependable Rushcliffe again. Where we were on Thursday for race two. This is rather unimaginative of the organisers, who had the chance to take this popular race series back to one of its old haunts, such as Forest Fields, or to a new location at one of the many parks around Nottingham. Somewhere like Bestwood would have been a good choice.

So back to those lovely gravel paths for just 5k this time. The shortest but also possibly the hardest of the four distances because for many hardy folks this is simply an all out sprint from start to finish, and if you’re like me, it’s hard not to join in.

L got the hundred miles up on Saturday, so she’s already well on the way in her quest for five hundred miles by next May and she’ll be adding another eighteen or so this week.

I start brisk-ish, avoiding the footpath wherever possible and keeping to the grass edges. One four minute km follows another and then my legs collapse. 4:08, 4:24, 4:19 I gasp across the line and land in a heap. Things are not going well at the moment.

L does better again, knocking a minute off her time from last year, whilst I add over a minute.

L's Time: 00:28:32

Races: 16
Miles: 110.5
T-shirts: 8
Medals: 6
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Birmingham And Black Country Half Marathon

We head over to Birmingham early-ish this morning and park at the NIA, which is eerily quiet and only seems to have one entrance open. Parking there has shades of the Birmingham Half last year, just ten thousand people quieter. We see one other runner, who unfortunately sprints off before we can follow him to New Street station, which we struggle to find having left via some back entrance to the car park.

There are few more runners on the train and a few more get on at some of the stops as we head over to Wolverhampton. Once at Wolverhampton station the crowds start to ramp up considerably and we follow the increasing throng to the semi-secret start location at the British Waterways Boatyard, not far from the station.

This is already a fairly unique race experience and it’s about to get even more so. The Birmingham And Black Country Half Marathon is a point to point ‘race’ along the towpath of the Wolverhampton to Birmingham canal. It isn’t really a race at all, due to the narrowness of the towpath it is run as a time trial, with staggered starts over three or more hours. I’ve been given an assembly time of 9.30, whilst L’s is 11.40, over two hours later. So I'll be finished before she starts.

While I stow my kitbag in the baggage van, L sets about getting her start time brought forward. She’s worried about what three hours waiting at the finish might do to my liver and the fact she might have to drive us out of Birmingham city centre.

The start times turn out to be only loosely enforced, e.g. they’re not, and she’s told to basically go for it when she likes. So that’s less time in the pub for me.

After a quick but entertaining pre-race briefing for my start group, we line up in single file and then like a scene from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, we disappear through a door in the boatyard wall. As I emerge onto the canal bank and a marshal keys my number into his PDA I fail to realise that I was now 'under orders'. The guy released a second after me is already itching to get started and sighing heavily in my ear hole. Two steps later I practically fall over the timing mat as I fiddle to get my watch started, then we're off. I quickly let Mr Impatient past me.

The single file start works well; it actually makes it much easier to get into a rhythm than in a mass start race. A few runners come past me early on but not once do I feel the urge to push one of them into the canal, although if they try that in the last half a mile I might feel a little different. After the first mile or so, it’s mainly me doing the overtaking and everyone is very courteous as I get the better of them.

The downside is that there’s not exactly a crowd roaring you on as go and at times it felt like a training session or rather it would, if I did any training sessions of this sort of length. There are plenty of marshals to give you a mini-roar but a big city half marathon it certainly isn’t.

Then there’s the wildlife, such as the evil looking swan and its chicks about a mile in. This was followed by a pile of feathers a little further down the track, where someone had perhaps got their own back.

At four miles comes the ‘highlight’, the 329 metre long Coseley Tunnel. They advise that if you are afraid of the dark to bring a head torch or to at least make sure you lift your shades before entering. It’s not really that dark as they have lit it in parts with battery lamps but it’s a bit uneven under foot and I fell down a hole at one point. It was also the only place where single file had to prevail, although some people still insisted on pushing past others in there, which I thought was a bit unnecessary.

Then there’s the random heavy duty hosepipe at five miles to steeplechase over, courtesy of the local fire brigade and the youth of Tipton who have been out on a burning spree but that was about it for obstacles. Totally flat, apart from the many bridges that really messed around with your legs, your pace and made the whole thing harder than you would think.

I missed the first mile marker and they were pretty invisible all the way around, always turned sideways to the course. The girl proclaiming to be the seven mile marker was great. Can all the mile markers do that next year?

The gravel towpath started to grate quite quickly and I began finding as much grass verge to run on as possible. This seemed to chip 30 seconds per mile off my times, although this may have been simply psychological. It was never going to be a PB course for me on that surface.

There were four drinks stations en route with a mix of water and sports drink, although I didn't realise about the sports drink until nine miles in. Some of the drinks stations were utilising barges which saved blocking the towpath, a nice innovation.

I kept a loose eye on my times and seemed set to break 1:45, which I would have been happy with. At the 12 mile marker, it left me nine and half minutes to complete the last 1.1 miles, even having slowed to an eight minute mile pace that was going to be easy peasy. The only problem was it was far further than .1 of a mile from the 13m point to the finish at Brindley Place. I usually reckon on forty five seconds for this last bit, today... two minutes sixteen seconds and no, I didn’t crawl it. Someone with a GPS later told me the course was 13.3 miles. Hmmm.

I’ve finished the race but the trauma isn’t over yet. An impressively painful but helpful massage is followed by what appears to be endless flights of stairs as I attempt to find the showers.

Overall, a well organised half marathon and a bit, that somehow manages that big event atmosphere after all, perhaps it was the well organised finished area. I got my kit bag back, along with a medal and a commemorative goody bag which included a stick of rock, which I was initially unimpressed with, until I realised that it had the race name printed through it. The 25% off at Pitcher and Piano certainly encouraged most people to stick around which helped, we certainly took full advantage. It was just a shame there wasn’t a t-shirt.

Probably not the ideal race for anyone doing their first half but I met some for who it was. One chap, a 17 year old, even told me it was his first race of any kind. I was still reeling from finding a teenager who’d run a half marathon when he told me he’d only done 100 miles in training for it... err that’s much more than me.

In the end, L starts half an hour behind me, which just about gives me enough time for the massage, shower and to get changed before she comes in. Almost enough time, but not quite. I just miss her crossing the line.

L's Time: 02:23:42

Races: 15
Miles: 107.4
T-shirts: 8
Medals: 6
Mugs: 1
Plates: 1
Bandanas: 1
Drinks Bottles: 1
Mars Bars: 1
Sticks Of Rock: 1